Cognitive Dissonance
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Ambulance Blues
Topic: Cybercrazies
Okay, I'm confrontational, irritating, and occasionally obnoxious, but I did nothing to deserve getting banned from an MSN chatroom named Gay Str8 Bi College Hotties United (GSBCHU for short) except rub one of the resident Room Nazis the wrong way. That's what happened, though, and there seems to be no ready redress, so I found a new home in another room and moved on. One of the Hosts in the new room, however, took an immediate interest in me; we talked for a while, and then he informed me that he wanted to become my slave. OMFG! Not wanting to get banned again, I temporized instead of telling the dude to get stuffed, and now he's stalking me. He doesn't want sex or cheap thrills; he only wants to clean my house for me. With no choice but to keep talking to him, what has followed has been a series of pretty weird conversations. I want you to treat me like a piece of furniture, you know, talk to me like I am a chair or something, he says. I don't talk to my furniture, I reply. If I treat you like a chair I'll usually just ignore you, unless the cat is sitting in the chair and I want to watch some football or something. If I'm no good as a chair, you'll have to discipline me, he says. How about like an ottoman? I ask. That way, I can put my feet up on you and we'll both be happy. What I really want is to serve you and to please you, he says. I really do need to think this over, I say. What if it pleases me to treat you like a person instead of a piece of furniture? That could be a problem, he responds reasonably. Why did you choose me for this honor? I wonder. Because you don't give me a bunch of shit about this and give me a hard time. If you were really a chair, would you actually care?